Our Guide to Pleasure (and Better Relationships)

You’re here because you want a healthier way to masturbate. We all have sexual tension to release and masturbation is a normal and healthy alternative to sexual relations with someone else. Masturbation done right, mindful masturbation, does not need porn. It can give you more pleasure and be a positive influence on your relationships. Here’s how it works (skip to the instructions if you don’t need the intro).

Men are aroused by visual cues and fast-paced conquest-oriented stories. That’s why traditional porn works so well. Our challenge, our mission, is to give you emotionally intelligent erotica that arouses you in support of mindful masturbation, without being porn (read about the difference).

Emotionally intelligent erotica reinforces healthy relationship patterns and models emotional maturity, mutual respect, and genuine intimacy rather than just physical mechanics. It leaves you feeling more confident with your intimate relationships.

Consent and communication showing healthy negotiation of boundaries, enthusiastic participation, and ongoing check-ins.

Emotional safety acknowledging that intimacy involves vulnerability and treating that with care.

Realistic emotional complexity recognising that intimate experiences can involve mixed feelings, nervousness alongside excitement, or moments of awkwardness that are completely normal.

Diverse representation that acknowledges different bodies, orientations, cultural backgrounds, and preferences.

Aftercare and emotional processing showing characters checking in with each other afterward, discussing the experience, and providing connection beyond just the physical act.

Boundary respect demonstrating that "no" or changing one's mind is always acceptable, and that good partners respond with care rather than pressure or disappointment.

Mindful masturbation is a practice that develops authentic sexual confidence, reduces performance anxiety, and cultivates a deeper understanding of personal pleasure patterns that can enhance both solo experiences and future intimate relationships.

It’s going to feel weird. You’re changing a core behaviour that’s been engrained a thousand times. Like all new practices it takes practice, and the rewards are worth it. Block out 20 minutes (adjust the times to your own rhythm) and follow these steps.

1. Before you start, read our stories. Find the ones that both arouse and feel comfortable. Avoid the ones that leave you feeling like you did something wrong. What works for me are the stories that remind me of people and places that are part of my everyday life.
2. Wind down (5 minutes). Find a place where you can relax alone without disruption. For me, that’s laying on my bed in semi-darkness with my eyes closed. Focus only on breathing and releasing all tension from your body. Just breathe and relax.
3. Wind up (5 minutes). Explore your body. This will take some getting used to. We like it when women touch themselves, so why not us? Use both hands and find the places that feel good. Don’t hesitate to explore; it’s your body — enjoy it!
4. Peak (5 minutes). Visualise the pictures from one of the stories. It’s OK to look at them again, if it helps. Create your own fantasy using the cues. Run the movie in your mind — better than a movie because you can tweak it each time. Focus only on the total freedom of enjoying yourself.
5. Reflect (5 minutes). The goal is pleasure, so that might be ejaculation, edging or just arousal. Stop whenever you want; there’s no pressure to perform. Let your pleasure surround you and embrace you. Enter a meditative state, free from thoughts, other than feeling really good.

I hope you enjoyed this. Give us your feedback so we can make it better.

More reading

• Why mindful masturbation is good for you
• Why porn is bad for you